Dislocated Elbow

On Jan. 13, I was longboarding to work on my sweet Kahuna Longboard. Going through Lot 9, well then I decided to weave through some parked cars....and the wheel of my board hit the wheel of the car. This caused the board to stop, but I exhibited Newton's First Law of Motion, that an object in motion will stay in motion...etc. I hit the ground, HARD. Dislocating my left elbow. Not the worst dislocation in the history of human existence, but pretty gnarly. I caught a little road rash on my face and hand, which of course was secondary to the dislocated elbow.

My injury was complete with my first and (hopefully) last ambulance ride (with my Rural Metro team of Russ and Dan), and (something like 5th trip to the ER). Thanks to adrenaline, I was very aware of my surroundings and remember almost everything that happened and everyone I met. Here it should be noted that when I have to go to the hospital, I try to be as happy as I can. I greet everyone by name, I mean they wear name tags for a reason right? I digress... I was wheeled over to x-ray where Scarlet did a fine job of photographing my arm in a number of painful positions. Then they wheeled me back out to my spot on the wall, to wait with my Mom. Then Dr. Patel comes out and says, "good news, it's not broken badly, we're just going to put you in a sling and send you on your way."

At first I was stoked, but immediately realized he was wrong, I KNEW my arm was out of socket. Dr. Patel said, so just go ahead and put your arm like this (90 degrees across my stomach) and we'll get the sling ready. At which point I said, "That's not happening." As any person with a modicum of common sense or medical training knows that bone/joint victims keep their affected limb in the most comfortable position possible when it's hurt. I knew I couldn't bend my arm, I knew it was dislocated, the cop on the scene knew it was dislocated, my Mom, my boss, the transport (David), the x-ray techs, the Associate Dean of Students at UT, all knew my arm was dislocated - everyone except the freaking doctor. So he proceeds to grab my arm, move it around a little bit, which I assure you was a delight for me - then he called over a nurse, they felt my other elbow, and he said, "Maybe I better have another look at the x-rays." Yeah, you do that, I'm going to lie here and plot your demise, DUDE it's out of socket, put it back in, let me grab some food and go home. More x-rays. More pain. "All right, you dislocated your arm, we're going to put you in this room right here and I'll be along in a few minutes to set it." Thanks Doc.

In the room I go, with Amber. No other way to put it, Amber is the nurse you dream about. She was, as I so eloquently told her whilst under the effects of morphine and whatever they knocked me out with, "very pretty." So what do I do as a single young man? I immediately begin chatting with her. Long story short, they knocked me out. I beat-boxed for Amber, I pulled out my International Brotherhood of Magicians Card, I plugged the band, I plugged our shows coming up, I later quizzed her on remembering the show. It was, I'm sure, hilarious to watch. And, I assure you, is hilarious to remember.

Mom took me home, got me some Krystals and I laid on the couch. I didn't pass out, or take a nap. I just watched The West Wing. Later Doug and Chase came to my aid to help me get my car, because once I was home, Mom and Josh left town for a family emergency and Dad was out of town on business. It was lame.

But that my friends is the story of my dislocated elbow.

As they say in the Rap game, Big Ups to Anton R. my former supervisor at in the Student Activities office, and Ron L. associate dean of students at UTK for coming to the hospital. I know it's protocol, but it meant a lot.

Unrecognizable

Last night I saw a friend of mine, who I've known for more than 8 years at least. Anyway, I saw him at the bar and in typically dude fashion called him an inappropriate name. Well my friend is a bartender and apparently just took me for a drunk being a jerk. I thought maybe he was just really busy until I looked around and noticed they weren't that busy. So I walked over and (for all intents and purposes) re-introduced myself. We shared a good laugh about this.

Thought I would share. 

More Names

So I've gotten a few more great names since last I posted... on a side note I feel like all of my posts center on my beard, but then again so do most of my waking moments. 

The names I've gotten lately. 

Zakk Wylde (with a haircut)

Grizzly Adams (which I find to be very cliche)

and finally, from the great Nathan Fortenberry....

Robin Williams Knuckles. 

Bearded Names

So I can go almost nowhere without a conversation starting because of my beard. I am not complaining, I am in fact bragging. I'm very proud of my beard, as evident by the numerous posts about it here. Lately I've been keeping a tally of different names I get as a result of said beard. Here is my current list. 

Of course I get standard things like, 

Hobo - 

Panhandler

I think it's a little off color to make fun of them by calling me such names, they're just trying to make their way in the world. But enough of my social injustice rant. On to more name I get regularly. 

Steve Zissou - 

Chewbacca - 

Jeremiah Johnson

David the Gnome

And finally

ZZ Top

2008

What did you do in 2008 that you've never done before? I got accepted to graduate school, I was raised to the sublime degree of Master Mason, I got the best grades I've ever received in 20 years of schooling

Did you keep New Year's Resolutions? I always say I'm going to get in shape.... yeah I'm one of those people. 

Did anyone close to you give birth? Yeah, Ryan and Sam and Cameron and Lisa 

Did anyone close to you pass away? Thankfully no

Did anyone close to you get married? Yeah, John Garrison and his wife Brianna, My cousin Holly got married to a guy named Joey, and I feel like I'm forgetting one.... there it is, Justin Smith and his wife Carrie. 

What places did you visit? I went to New York. It was insane. 

What would you like to have more of 2009 that you lacked in 2008? Read.... things not for school, Write more, travel. 

What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory? Cinco de Mayo, when my band played with Less Than Jake

What was your biggest achievement of the year? I'm going to say getting into Graduate School and finding funding for Graduate School all in a weeks time frame. 

What was your biggest failure? Waiting 6 months between getting initiated into Masonry and deciding it was time to progress, thanks to my brothers Jon and Dave for the kick in the rear. 

Did you suffer illness or injury? Unfortunately I did, in November I took a pretty gnarly spill on my longboard and messed up my arm, and I messed up some cartilage in my wrist, but that was a separate occurrence

What was the best thing you bought? I didn't really buy anything of note, except a Mandolin, so I'll say Mandolin. 

Whose behavior merited most celebration? Marc Kantor and his entire family for proving there are people who are good even in the north. Doug Griffey for simply being Doug. Eric D. Smith for his endless advice and chastising - and most importantly the kick in the ass to apply to graduate school. 

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? As Tim said, "No one worth mentioning"

Where did most of your money go? Records, Gas, Food

What did you get really excited about? Following my Grandfather and Father into Masonry, Advancing my education, and performing. 

What songs will always remind you of 2008?

Compared to this time last year are you:

i. Happier or Sadder? Happier

ii. Thinner or Fatter? Probably fatter

iii. Richer or Poorer? I save better than when I was younger

What do you wish you'd done more of? Travel to visit my friends. 

What do you wish you'd done less of? Eat Fast Food

How will you be spending the holidays? With the family, and with my Bros 

How will you be spending New Years? Currently unsure. Hopefully something at least as awesome as last year. 

Did you fall in love in 2008? No, but I became infatuated a few times. 

How many one night stands? I plead the fifth. 

What was your favorite TV program? I didn't keep up with Lost or Heroes, and I don't watch the Office. But I did watch the entire series of The West Wing.

Do you hate anyone now you didn't hate this time last year? Nah. 

Do you like anyone you didn't like this time last year? Nah.

What was the best book you read? Inheritance 

Greatest musical discovery? My Favorite Highway, Crooked Still, Runner Runner, Matt Wertz, Owl City, Whiskeytown

What did you want and get? I got a sweet Camera. 

What did you want and not get? Again I'm quoting the great Tim Skirven, "Nothing worth mentioning"

Favorite film? 

What did you do on your Birthday? I had a freaking awesome birthday. I went and got sushi with Dale and Jacob because J was in town. So that right there started my birthday off right. Then we went to Tall Paul on the strip, some friends came out including the usual cast of characters, and Mr. Joshua Manis who took time out to come down because of the mass text I sent, he's a damn fine person. 

What one thing would have made your year immensely more satisfying? It was good. Maybe being more charitable? 

How would you describe your personal fashion concept of 2008? I would have to say more adult than most years. Lots of collared shirts, Jeans that fit better, shorter hair cuts, etc. 

What kept you sane? Friends, notably: Eric D. Smith, Ph D. - Matthew C. N. Skirven - Nolan Wildfire - Paige Phillips - Sally Gates and Andy Cobb

What celebrity did you fancy the most? I guess by this they mean fancy in the British sense, like who I wanted to be on so I'm going to go with Jordana Spiro or Lucy Griffiths

What political issue stirred you the most? Health Care

Who was the best new person you met? Unfair, best new person will be extended to best new people - Matt, Sally, Nolan, Paige, Laura, Bridget, Jenn, Lyndsey, Tyler, Nathan, the list goes on. 

A valuable life lesson learned from 2008? You have to take control of your situation. 

Quote a song lyric that reminds you of 2008? "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you just might find, you get what you need" The Beatles - I guess that one sums it up. 

Something I'd never done before 2008? I'm sure there's something, but I can't really think of it. 

Other memorable moments from 2008 include.... Staying out until the wee hours of the morning just to "party" with my "bros" - Playing with Less Than Jake - Masonry - Magic - Becoming a member of the International Brotherhood of Magicians - Meeting and hanging out with David Blaine and Daniel Garcia (and subsequently learning I was in the presence of other magical masterminds) - Performing enough magic to be commonly referred to as "The Magic Guy" - Graduate School - Becoming an "uncle" - June-Tober-Fest - HSFH Reunion - Mets Game - A week long farewell celebration for the Shin - Warped Tour as always - Forming the Beard and Mustache Fellowship of Knoxville in order to stay sane throughout graduate school - Quitting a job I hated the first job I ever quit - Starting my career? - Playing Shows - Kiss Your Ghost

The Decem-Beard Week 1

With the conclusion of "No Shave November" I have decided to launch headlong into "the Decem-Beard". By the way, "Decem-Beard" sounds so ridiculously ferocious it's insane. Also it should be noted that the first two photos have been photoshopped, but only to add definition and enhance true color. The last photo has no processing done to it, straight from the Canon to you. Enjoy. 

Pogonotrophy

I am a one of the few and the proud. The bearded. No offense to the Marines, I respect your service and dedication more than words can express, so please take no offense to my hijacking of your one time slogan. 

I have been wearing a beard for the better part of my adult life... which is slowly, become the majority of my life. I enjoy growing my beard and trimming it back, growing it long trimming it back etc. I participate in facial hair related holidays, such as "No Shave November" and "Cinco De Mustache" which are completely underrated, and I argue should be put on standard calendars. My enjoyment of beard growth stems mainly from my intense dislike of shaving. I never liked shaving. Simply put, I encourage every able man to grow a beard. Throughout history fine men have worn beards, but that's another post entirely. So let me just suffice it to say that I really do enjoy having a beard, and right now, my beard is pushing a solid 2 months of growth, now trimming, and it is looking mighty fierce.

Believe

I don't know what but I had the urge to make a post declaring the bands I believe in. I believe the words they sing, these are the bands that I think could move mountains if they so choose to do so. Their words, thoughts, and actions, hit like the weight of anvil. 

1. Four Year Strong

2. Set Your Goals

3. Rise Against

4. A Day To Remember

5. New Found Glory

6. Valencia

I'll update this post next week with examples but I've got to do some work now. 

Best or "Re-Inventing a Lost Art"

I've taken to signing my correspondence. 

Best, 

Zac J. 

I like it. It's a little different than "best wishes" or "all the best" it's just simple to the point no none sense. It's saying, "Alright, I'm done with my letter/message (I refuse to demean the connotation of the word 'letter' by calling computer mediated messages letters), and I want to offer you the best of whatever you might be partaking in soon." It's a little pompous, but no more than "Cheers." Which I am not old enough to be signing my letters with. 

On a similar note I'm pretty sure that I scared some high schoolers the other day. As I was longboarding to my car after class/library, I approached some girls wearing letter jackets that looked like they could be from Powell. As I got closer I realized they were from Powell and so when I passed them I asked to make certain and then said that I graduated from Powell in 2001 and then made some crack about being old, then asked that said, "do whatever you're going to do tonight the best you can do it, for the crazy old alumni" they laughed a genuine laugh and I proceeded on having never gotten off my longboard. I think they were cheerleaders on their way to the high school basketball jamboree. It was an interesting exchange. 

Time to write some paper action. 

An Open Letter to Warm Weather

Dear Warm Weather,

Hey I hope this letter finds you well in the southern hemisphere. I'm doing alright, school is getting kind of hectic, and I've got more research and writing to do than I care to think about, which is why I'm writing you a letter now.

OK, to be honest, I miss you like a fish misses water. I need you in my life, more than just 5-6 months out of the year. I can't do my favorite things when I'm without you WW. I can't swim. I can't drive (comfortably) with my windows down. I can't longboard comfortably. I can't wear t-shirts. Your cool breezes sure beat the hell out of these bitter winter winds.

I know when it's 90+ degrees I complain, but that's what makes you great WW, you're still there for me. Just when I start complaining you bring on some clouds or the evening to cool us down.

Basically what I'm saying is that you've only been away for a week or two now and I can't stand it. So hurry back and bring some aussie ladies with you.

Sincerely,
Zac

American Hearts

Tomorrow America will make history. America will make history for a multitude of reasons.
In 1870 the United States Congress ratified the 15th Amendment thus giving all men the right to vote. In 1920 the United States Congress ratified the 19th Amendment giving all women the right to vote. Tomorrow, Barack Obama and Sarah Palin will both run for the highest and second highest offices in the land, making history. Let us not forget that it was only 54 years ago that the Supreme Court declared "seperate but equal" unconstitutional with the landmark case, "Brown v. Board of Education (1954)." It seems prudent to give pause on the eve of this historic election and reflect on that thought alone; the thought that for all intents and purposes less than 100 years ago, Sarah Palin and Barack Obama would not have been considered equal to Joe Biden and John McCain.

Tomorrow, America will make one giant step toward a realization of Martin Luther King Jr.'s "Dream."

Tomorrow our country will be divided more than it has been in 150 years, but on Wednesday we will once again stand unified, ready to stand together and charge further into the new millenium.

Tomorrow our country will participate in the greatest exercise of democracy in the free world. Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, George Washington, and Abraham Lincoln will all look upon it with wonder from the great beyond.

Tomorrow one will lose and one will win, and at the end of the day they will shake hands and move forward. Each still continuing to strive for the betterment of America.

Tomorrow, regardless of the victor, our country will move in a new direction.

I encourage you to think and meditate on this. I truly don't care who you vote for (of course I have my opinion but that's not what this is about). I just want you, the voters, to make an educated decision. After a thorough examination of the facts, figures, and issues then go, cast your vote, participate. Become part of the system. Use the system. I don't want to hear, "my vote doesn't matter." Nor do I want to hear anyone say, "I don't like either candidate" then vote third party, do the leg work find the candidate, Your Candidate, the one that embodies your hopes and fears, one that you share a vision with, and then Go. Vote. Partipate. That's what being a responsible American Voter is all about.

God Bless America. God Bless us Everyone.

Fall - Autumn - Fall

I've recently come to a realization. I'm pretty fearless, academically speaking. Well, in a certain sense. I don't care to be wrong, again in certain setting. I'll expound upon this idea.

I've been blessed and cursed with an inquisitive mind. I need information, I want to know why, I crave knowledge. Partly because I truly believe that knowledge is power and partly because the acquisition of knowledge is a journey which I adore and will hopefully continue on for the duration of my life. That's the blessing part, the curse part is I often get sidetracked and have a tough time focusing (for real life example - see the unread books upon my shelf and/or the delayed major choice during my undergraduate expierence).

I like when my professors pose a question and I can answer it, I enjoy the nod I get, the sense of satisfaction from knowing things and being able to display that knowledge. And because the more I know the more I can impart to other people, friends, family, students, peers, etc.

But I digress, this fearless concept I've recently come to identify with - it stems from this. I don't care if I'm wrong. I'm fine with being wrong. You can only fail by not trying. If I answer a question in class and my idea isn't what the professor had in mind, and I'm "wrong" then so be it. Edison, Franklin, Graham-Bell they were all wrong, many times - but when they were right, they changed history.

So in closing, it is my proposition to one and all that we not be scared to venture out of our comfort zone and to be wrong, to fall on our face, to swing for the fences and miss - because it is through theses experiences that we learn.

There is an old adage, "You never lose by loving, you only lose by holding back" I propose we change the paradigm. "To fail is to not try, to succeed is to fail and try again and again..."

::::End::::

I need to take my own advice and not be afraid to fail in all areas of my life not just in the pursuit of knowledge.

My America. What about you?

So I love America. I love America completely and truly just as much for it's faults and failures as for it's triumphs and successes. I think sometimes people fall into the line of thinking that, "Well I don't like what the governments doing, so I don't really like America." No, wrong. That's why you should like America, because we have a system put in place that means we as the people have a voice (albeit a representative and symbolic voice) in the way our country is governed. But that's beside the point. 

There's a 100's of reasons to dislike America. But there's millions upon millions of reasons to love America. When I see something absurd like an incredible mullet, or a car with Looney Toons characters painted on the side of it, I say out loud, "I love America." Because things like that are just incredible. 

When I said this the other day, someone asked me if I was being serious. If I really did love America. I was slightly offended, but realized this was an opportunity to explain my love of this country. 

I know America is not perfect, but damn if I'm not proud to stand up and put my hand over my heart when the "Star Spangled Banner" is played. 

So just take a moment to think about America and what it means to you. Maybe not as much as it means to me, but hopefully it means something. This is my America. 

My America is home. 

My America is church steeples in the country side and rolling hills.

My America is wide open roads and truck drivers. 

My America is coffee shops until 4 in the morning and blue skies.  

My America is home. 

My America is the love of a good women. 

My America is family, and friends, and Long Island, and East Tennessee, and Southern Florida, and NOLA. 

My America is knowing your neighbors name and lending a helping hand. 

My America is home. 

My America is Bob Dylan and his terrible voice and his beautiful songs. 

My America is crying with your best friend when it all falls apart. 

My America is fireworks on the fourth of July and giving out candy on Halloween. 

My America is fireflies and morning frost. 

My America is family. 

My America is baseball with my Dad. 

My America is driving on the Dwight D. Eisenhower Interstate system and switchback mountain roads. 

My America is Appalachia. 

My America is the Grand Canyon. 

My America is the Great Lakes. 

My America is the Mississippi River. 

My America is land of the free and home of the brave. 

My America is open to any and all, just like it was to my family. 

My America is not perfect. 

My America is opportunity. 

My America is hope. 

My America is home. 

My America is my opportunity, my hope, and my home. 

What is your America?

Chris Thile = Cybord

After listening to Nickel Creek and Chris Thile for most of the day, I've come to this realization. 

Chris Thile, is in fact, not human. He is a cyborg sent from space to make musicians and songwriters feel inadequate. 

Damn you Mr. Thile, with your robotic fingers, Damn you. 

Go listen to the mandolin parts on "Stumptown" which is on the NC record, "Why Should the Fire Die?" Then I dare you to tell me he is human. 

Zac

Reading

So I'm in grad school, which means I read. I read a lot. I read all the time. My name is Reading Johnson. I'm not joking this is what I do.

This week alone. I've read 4 journal articles, 2 + book chapters, and I have three more articles I'm supposed to read for tonight.

I wouldn't mind reading so damn much if we were talking about it all. And this week has been nice, we've actually talked about a lot of it, but not all of it. Which annoys the shit out of me. Oh well, most of it is interesting so I shouldn't complain to much.

Back to reading.

Zac

"So I guess comparisons to the 1998 National Championship team were a little far fetched"

Well, at least no one got hurt physically. That's all I can really say about the abismal performance of the University of Tennessee Football team last night.

Last night the Vols squared off against UCLA, and the better team and coaching staff prevailed.

First off, let me start by saying that I am not a football scholar. I am simply a fan, a well informed fan, who enjoys the game. And as a member of the University of Tennessee in two ways - both as an alumnus and a current graduate student- as well as a member of the football program in two ways - now a paying member of the audience that gathers on Saturdays and a fan - I have some criticisms to offer.

Before I begin, let me offer yet another preface: I can criticize all I want, it's my right as a fan and I'm not saying that I've got the answers , just as it's every citizen's right and duty to criticize the government. Now with that being said, let us begin.

Phil, seriously what happened? The team looked sluggish, Crompton fell apart, Crompton was erratic, Lincoln was bad (granted two of his three missed field goals were more than 50 yards, which would have been a personal best for him) but still. Fumbles. Mistakes. In my humble opinion poor play calling. But you know what I'm willing to chalk all of that (less Lincoln) up to nerves. It was the first game of a season that had the highest expectations for UT football in quite a while. It was also Crompton's first time to really lead the team, finally out from the shadow of Ainge. And it was also Clawson's first night to really call the plays. So I'll let all that slide. Lincoln on the other hand, is a pro, he started all last year, he could have done better. He has done better, and I know he will do better. And I'll get back to this thought that he and the team can do better in a moment.

Secondly and most importantly I'd like to address Mike Hamilton. I know he wasn't on the field. He wasn't calling plays. But I'll guarentee he was there. If we students are having to suck up the costs to renovate Neyland Stadium, increase Phil's salary to a number much higher than any state employee including both Pat Summit, who win's Championships, and the Governer - then I want a program I can be proud of. So far this season, I've not seen the $90 I spent on a student season ticket go to anything that is supposed to keep our team competitive.

Third and this is to all of us, myself included. The men that stepped on that field last night, Crompton, Lincoln, Foster, Berry on down the line all deserve our respect. While it might not seem like we, the commoners, recieve that same respect from them (i.e. lack of discipline) those men played as best they could. And they are in all actuallity kids. 18 -21 year olds that have the hopes and dreams of an entire state riding upon their shoulders. They practice everyday, sometimes twice a day, sometimes without breaks. Last night, they simply were outplayed and outcoached. Don't be to hard on them, what were most of us doing at that age? Not competing on a national level in front of 70,000 people plus a couple million more on television. So cut them some slack.

And finally I want to say this. And this goes to everyone who gets up in arms everytime something happens involving UT sports. First off, UT Sports. Let's look at that phrase. Univesity of Tennessee Sports. The first word in that phrase is University. This is a learning institution, not a sports machine. So as long as those players lasat night learned something. Hopefully about themselves and the world around them and how they fit into it, then I'll consider it a victory. But that's just the educator in me.

I hope that Mike Hamilton and Phil Fulmer realize that UT is an institue of higher learning, not just a training ground for pro athletes. Because from the cheap seats it doesn't always look like it.

Go Vols.

My heart breaks for America and Baseball

In New Haven, CT (coincidently home to one of my best friends) there is a nine year old. His name is Jericho Scott. Jericho plays baseball, and he's damn good. Jericho throws 40 miles an hour and now league officials are telling him he can no longer pitch because it's unfair.

League officials say that it's unfair to the other players, which makes me call shenanigans.

It's the product of the new, "Everybody's a winner" mentality. Which is absolutely absurd. Guess, what life is unfair, you're going to strike out. You're going to fail, you're going to lose games, you're not going to get every job you apply for, every girl you ask out isn't going to say yes. This is what we in the real world call part of life, an unfortunate part of life, but a part of life all the same.

I am by no means a good baseball player. I love the game, but I am at best a streaky hitter and a solid fielder. But I used to play baseball on a draft league team, and we were terrible. I played a motley assortment of positions, but mostly outfield, because I wasn't big enough to have a strong presence in the infield, and I wasn't as good as some of the other guys. The point is I played. I went up to bat and took my cuts and I sat down. I learned about life. Mostly from my Dad who served as coach one year because he happened to be at try outs when they said, "if someone else doesn't step up there's only going to be one team this year."

My Dad has taught me an innumerable amount of things over the years. But one lesson I think I learned the hardest was his philosophy that games, sports, are for everyone. Everyone on our team that year got to bat at every game. Including the last one. I was on deck, there were two outs and Shawn hadn't batted yet. My Dad realized this and just looked at me, and I knew what needed to be done. I walked back into the dugout. That was that. I was upset at the time, but looking back I learned that it's not about winning. Not at that level anyway.


All of that is to say that little league isn't about winning.

It's about fair play. Not about parents trying to recapture their youth, or win that championship they never got. Is it fair that he throws heat like Nolan Ryan in a sandbox? No, but guess what it's not fair that I like to play basketball and I'm not 6'8".

It's about sportsmanship. It's about learning the rules. It's about developing a love of the game. It's about children learning that they should give their best, and how to be part of a team; how to win with honor and loose with grace. It's about learning to shake hands after the game.

Not about winning or losing. Not about telling an incredibly talented individual that they can't play because they're just "too good."

Telling Jericho that he's too good is absolutely absurd. It's no different than telling a running back he's to fast. Or a gymnast that their balance is to good. Now granted, he is astonishingly talented, and maybe he shouldn't pitch. But if he wants to pitch then he should be allowed to.

If this is the generation that we are raising I have serious questions to ask about the state of our society. Baseball is a game. At the end of a game their are losers, but at the end of the day, hopefully everyone learned something. And hopefully we aren't teaching our children that the best way to win, or to get your way, is to throw a fit and walk off the field, but rather to say how can I become better? How can I get that good? Answer: Hard work, perseverance, and proper guidance.

It is my sincere hope that Jericho gets to pitch against kids his own age again very soon. And I hope he sits everyone of them down. And I pray that their parents are there to say, "You did a great job, but it's just a game. Now go shake his hand, look him in the eye, and say, 'good job.'"

"English! Mother F#$%^! Do you speak it?"

So here's the deal. We, and by we I mean the vast majority of Americans, speak English. For a quick definition of the English Language, we turn to the ever trustworthy and oh so scholastic wikipedia.

West Germanic language originating in England and is the first language for most people in the United Kingdom, the United States, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Ireland and the Anglophone Caribbean. It is used extensively as a second language and as an official language throughout the world, especially in Commonwealth countries and in many international organizations.

Wikipedia, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_language, 25 August 08.

Alright now with that being said. I don't feel that anyone, let alone someone without several advanced degrees in English, has the right or ability to change the English Language. I am sick of people butchering the language we speak. It doesn't make you cool or hip, it makes you ignorant. Are you seriously that busy that you can't take the extra half second and half calorie it takes to extend your pinky to the shift key, and/or the apostrophe?

I am speaking mainly to the masses who type the numeral 2 instead of to or too. And the people who replace U for you. Etc. I'm sure you see my point. So let me quickly cover the most atrocious errors I notice.

Stuff you should have learned in elementary school: A grammar lesson from Zac
- I, is a pronoun representing yourself, you should always capitalize it.
- You, to, and too, are words not letters and not numerals, please spell it out.
- Contractions are when two words are joined by an apostrophe. For example, He is fast could also be He's fast. Hes Fast, might as well be someone's name.
- Apostrophes can also show ownership.
- Also two words: subject verb agreement. GET INTO IT!

And finally you are not cool when you abbreviate words. Expend all that brainpower and energy by actually saying "Just Kidding". There are more painful examples of abbreviations but I'd rather not get into it right now, because my brain will start to swell and my heart will start to hurt for the sad state of the youth of today.

So please, respect the English language. And I leave you with this adapted and paraphrased quote from the Big Lebowski's own Walter Sobchak, who originally said, "Three thousand years of beautiful tradition from Moses to Sandy Koufax... You're GD right I'm living in the past."

"250 plus years of grammar and syntax, good enough for everyone from Abe Lincoln and George Washington to Ernest Hemingway and Sandy Koufax, is good enough for me."

Knoxville, TN to Wherever my friends are

I've seen generations come and go from Knoxville. I've watched Knoxville natives wave goodbye to Sun Sphere city and never look back. And I've watched Knoxville disappear in the rearview as I helped friends move states away. I've also stood in the rearview and watch friends move states away. I've watched transplants from various parts of the country come to Knoxville for college and then 4, 5, or 6 years later they leave. 

Eventually I'll put Knoxville in my rearview, and sing Rocky Top as I depart to make a living shaping young minds as a College Administrator or Instructor, but for now I've still got opportunities here in what I call God's Country: Knoxville, TN. I feel like I'm still moving forward; more so than some people who have moved away, or at the very least at least as far forward as they are moving. 

I hate seeing people leave this place I call home, but I'm also ecstatic for them. I know I'll keep in touch with them for the rest of our lives. I won't be able to call them and say "Let's go grab some food," or "hey, let's go record shopping," but I will be able to call them and say, "Hey how's life?" And I know without a doubt that they're all going to be wildly successful. 

So to all those who have left this place we call home, even if you were a transplant, I want you to know I'm still in Knoxville, still a Vol, still moving forward, and most importantly still a friend, just like I'll always be. 

So I'm going back to school and I couldn't be happier about that because school is great and hopefully by obtaining the knowledge and training that my master's program has to offer I'll be able to get a job I truly love.

But one thing about going back to school after having been out of the game for a minute is that it's a little daunting. A lot of people have been telling me it must be great to be going back to school, and while it is, it's not undergrad.

When you're in undergrad you can walk around and basically sleep through most of your classes. With a master's or professional program that is not the case at all. I'm really excited about starting classes but also nervous. These classes are going to be much different from the classes I'm used to taking and excelling in. But I'm sure I'll persevere, with God on my side and my crew behind me and all that jazz.

In other news, the band after spinning it's wheels for what we in the biz like to call "a hot minute" has finally started pushing forward again without a new guitar player. We've decided to just start writing new music again, that's what we're best at cranking out hot jams. And it's been refreshing, it'll be nice when we're all back in town again and can really get moving on this stuff.

Also the company I used to work for laid off a ton of people. They closed 48 branches of the company. Which is completely and utterly bogus, but I guess that's just the way the travel industry is heading away from agents and towards self booked online search engines. So I implore you not to shop online if you can at all help it. It's hurting the economy and I've seen it first hand.

And finally I will be performing magic with a buddy of mine named Matt, as a duo, doing a little street performing or "busking". Should be really interesting.

That is all sorry for the break between posts.