Dislocated Elbow

On Jan. 13, I was longboarding to work on my sweet Kahuna Longboard. Going through Lot 9, well then I decided to weave through some parked cars....and the wheel of my board hit the wheel of the car. This caused the board to stop, but I exhibited Newton's First Law of Motion, that an object in motion will stay in motion...etc. I hit the ground, HARD. Dislocating my left elbow. Not the worst dislocation in the history of human existence, but pretty gnarly. I caught a little road rash on my face and hand, which of course was secondary to the dislocated elbow.

My injury was complete with my first and (hopefully) last ambulance ride (with my Rural Metro team of Russ and Dan), and (something like 5th trip to the ER). Thanks to adrenaline, I was very aware of my surroundings and remember almost everything that happened and everyone I met. Here it should be noted that when I have to go to the hospital, I try to be as happy as I can. I greet everyone by name, I mean they wear name tags for a reason right? I digress... I was wheeled over to x-ray where Scarlet did a fine job of photographing my arm in a number of painful positions. Then they wheeled me back out to my spot on the wall, to wait with my Mom. Then Dr. Patel comes out and says, "good news, it's not broken badly, we're just going to put you in a sling and send you on your way."

At first I was stoked, but immediately realized he was wrong, I KNEW my arm was out of socket. Dr. Patel said, so just go ahead and put your arm like this (90 degrees across my stomach) and we'll get the sling ready. At which point I said, "That's not happening." As any person with a modicum of common sense or medical training knows that bone/joint victims keep their affected limb in the most comfortable position possible when it's hurt. I knew I couldn't bend my arm, I knew it was dislocated, the cop on the scene knew it was dislocated, my Mom, my boss, the transport (David), the x-ray techs, the Associate Dean of Students at UT, all knew my arm was dislocated - everyone except the freaking doctor. So he proceeds to grab my arm, move it around a little bit, which I assure you was a delight for me - then he called over a nurse, they felt my other elbow, and he said, "Maybe I better have another look at the x-rays." Yeah, you do that, I'm going to lie here and plot your demise, DUDE it's out of socket, put it back in, let me grab some food and go home. More x-rays. More pain. "All right, you dislocated your arm, we're going to put you in this room right here and I'll be along in a few minutes to set it." Thanks Doc.

In the room I go, with Amber. No other way to put it, Amber is the nurse you dream about. She was, as I so eloquently told her whilst under the effects of morphine and whatever they knocked me out with, "very pretty." So what do I do as a single young man? I immediately begin chatting with her. Long story short, they knocked me out. I beat-boxed for Amber, I pulled out my International Brotherhood of Magicians Card, I plugged the band, I plugged our shows coming up, I later quizzed her on remembering the show. It was, I'm sure, hilarious to watch. And, I assure you, is hilarious to remember.

Mom took me home, got me some Krystals and I laid on the couch. I didn't pass out, or take a nap. I just watched The West Wing. Later Doug and Chase came to my aid to help me get my car, because once I was home, Mom and Josh left town for a family emergency and Dad was out of town on business. It was lame.

But that my friends is the story of my dislocated elbow.

As they say in the Rap game, Big Ups to Anton R. my former supervisor at in the Student Activities office, and Ron L. associate dean of students at UTK for coming to the hospital. I know it's protocol, but it meant a lot.

Unrecognizable

Last night I saw a friend of mine, who I've known for more than 8 years at least. Anyway, I saw him at the bar and in typically dude fashion called him an inappropriate name. Well my friend is a bartender and apparently just took me for a drunk being a jerk. I thought maybe he was just really busy until I looked around and noticed they weren't that busy. So I walked over and (for all intents and purposes) re-introduced myself. We shared a good laugh about this.

Thought I would share. 

More Names

So I've gotten a few more great names since last I posted... on a side note I feel like all of my posts center on my beard, but then again so do most of my waking moments. 

The names I've gotten lately. 

Zakk Wylde (with a haircut)

Grizzly Adams (which I find to be very cliche)

and finally, from the great Nathan Fortenberry....

Robin Williams Knuckles.